Go read this.
I've had a link to that blog on my sidebar pretty much since I knew it existed. It's the work of one of my classmates here at KCJS. And now, she's put this feeling into words better than I ever could.
When I first learned that I had been accepted into KCJS, I was happy. It sounds like such a simple thing, and yet that doesn't suffice to describe it. I was looking forward to coming to Kyoto with all my heart. Hell, I started this blog in June, remember? I needed to do something with all that excitement.
When I first got to Kyoto, everything was new and different, yet everything was the same. Daily life is daily life, no matter where you might go. And yet... there was "とまれ" painted on the (much narrower) roads, rather than "STOP", there were the school uniforms everywhere, there was the easily-recognizable chime of the school bell that sounds the same no matter where you go... Things I had seen in anime, but now I was living in that world.
When the first semester ended, I realized I hadn't really suffered from homesickness at all. I love the United States, I would proudly use the word "patriot" to describe myself... and yet, I didn't miss it. Somewhere along the line, I had come to love this new country, and my life in it, almost as much.
And now, I'm being forced to return home.
"Disappointment" is indeed the wrong word. There's no one word, not in Japanese and certainly not in English, that could possibly suffice. Perhaps what I have written, what my classmate wrote, comes close to expressing something that truly cannot be put into words...
And while it is true that this cannot compare to the hardships of those in Tokyo or Touhoku, I am in complete agreement with my classmate on this: dismissing it is damn near unforgivable.
It Was Fun
5 years ago