Monday, March 21, 2011

拈華微笑
Sharing Thoughts

Go read this.

これを読んでください。

I've had a link to that blog on my sidebar pretty much since I knew it existed. It's the work of one of my classmates here at KCJS. And now, she's put this feeling into words better than I ever could.

このブログを知る時から、ここでリンクがあった。僕のクラスメートのブログだ。そして、今、僕よりこの気持ちをうまく伝えた。

When I first learned that I had been accepted into KCJS, I was happy. It sounds like such a simple thing, and yet that doesn't suffice to describe it. I was looking forward to coming to Kyoto with all my heart. Hell, I started this blog in June, remember? I needed to do something with all that excitement.

京都アメリカ大学コンソーシアムに受かった時、うれしかった。簡単な事という感じがあるけど、本当の気持ちをうまく伝えられない。思いっきり楽しみにしていた。まあ、このブログは6月に始めたね。何かしなくちゃって感じ。

When I first got to Kyoto, everything was new and different, yet everything was the same. Daily life is daily life, no matter where you might go. And yet... there was "とまれ" painted on the (much narrower) roads, rather than "STOP", there were the school uniforms everywhere, there was the easily-recognizable chime of the school bell that sounds the same no matter where you go... Things I had seen in anime, but now I was living in that world.

京都に着いたとき、全部は違ってるけど、全部は同じ。どこでも、日常生活は日常生活だよね。けれども...もっと狭い道で「STOP」の代わりに「とまれ」が書いてあって、制服があって、学校のチャイムがあって...アニメに見たことけど、それは現実だった。

When the first semester ended, I realized I hadn't really suffered from homesickness at all. I love the United States, I would proudly use the word "patriot" to describe myself... and yet, I didn't miss it. Somewhere along the line, I had come to love this new country, and my life in it, almost as much.

秋学期を終わった時、懐郷が全然無かったに気づいた。アメリカが大好きだって、誇りを持って愛国者と名乗るんだって...でも、懐郷が無い。いつの間にか、日本や日本の生活も愛しないではいられなかった。

And now, I'm being forced to return home.

今、強制帰国になっちゃった。

"Disappointment" is indeed the wrong word. There's no one word, not in Japanese and certainly not in English, that could possibly suffice. Perhaps what I have written, what my classmate wrote, comes close to expressing something that truly cannot be put into words...

やっぱり、「残念」という言葉は違う。日本語でも英語でも一言で絶対に伝えられない。僕の書いたことや僕のクラスメートの書いたことで伝えられるかな...

And while it is true that this cannot compare to the hardships of those in Tokyo or Touhoku, I am in complete agreement with my classmate on this: dismissing it is damn near unforgivable.

最後に:こんな気持ちは関東と東北の人の苦難と同じではないと言うことは本当だ。だが、僕はクラスメートと賛成。見くびるのは、許せない。

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